my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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