You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
