feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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