I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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