More tranny stories later!
youre lurking in front of me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
