this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
