if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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