when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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