i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
