Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
