Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize