I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
