if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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