and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
