hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
