i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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