I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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