Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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