I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
