Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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