drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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