She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
