Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
