I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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