found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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