found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
