I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
