how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
As shirtless as possible
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
