im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
