the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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