Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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