Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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