also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize