She said her name was "party"
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
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i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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