Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
