Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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