I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
