But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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