Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize