i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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