apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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