i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize