The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
