Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
