So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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