And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
