At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
