that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize