PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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