my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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