I must be too annoying 4 u.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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