Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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