I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
