But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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