also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You smell like stripper and shame
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Randomize
