he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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