If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
