Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
