I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
