We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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