so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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