my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
